Where I've Been
My third grade art teacher provided positive feedback, more positive feedback, and enthusiasm. I felt a connection with no other instructor more than this person. Teachers, don't underestimate your influence. I remember things like creating human figures out of paper cylinders with folded paper joints. I made a figure holding a guitar that looked like one of the Beatles. It didn't go over very well in a conservative Christian School in the sixties. I lived a life that wanted no more than to please the adults around me, so how this figure sprang forth from my hands I don't know. I think this was the first time I understood that the media had a mind of its own and I had to create what the media was asking of me. I remember the joy of stitching in burlap with colorful yarns. The smell and textures of burlap were very seductive. I remember convincing my mom to purchase burlap and yarn from the store so I could do it at home. Letting any of my friends know what I was doing wasn't an option. I was afraid they would think I was a sissy — especially a kid who was consistently the tallest and largest in his class.

I first picked up a camera because I was presented with some opportunities such as photographer for the middle school yearbook and technician (which amounted to be more like a pack mule) for the high school audio-visual department. I found I had a knack for most things mechanical or electronic and I enjoyed the immediacy of the imaging process. Yes, I was young and impatient. Click, and the image was created. Photography seemed to provide a broad avenue to being a prolific artist.

By college I understood that the camera was just another paintbrush. To produce a timeless image through a lens was just as difficult as skillfully putting paint on canvas or chipping a figure out of marble. In college I felt drawn to three dimensional work. I sculpted in wood, carved in plaster, and assembled “Calder-ish” stabiles. I still question my pursuit of photography because of my college experience. I think there is a depth and texture to many of the photographs I produce born out of my sensitivity to 3-D.
Camera work became a passion after I graduated and got a job as an art director. Photography was part of the job description so I was given the tools of the trade including a darkroom. Although I didn't like the chemical vapors of the darkroom, I liked being able to close the door and shut out the world and just make images appear.

I soon found that when attempting to nurture my creative spirit, it was other art forms like poetry, music, and dance that were the fountains of truth. I didn't feel particularly drawn to art galleries or visual art history. There was something about cross-media-training that helped me produce my best work. There have been times when I have written poetry more than clicked the shutter.
If I could point to one big visual influence on my work, it has been a Canadian photographer named Freeman Patterson (Interestingly enough I found out he had theological training). His books, that spoke about the creative process more than the mechanics, were simple, practical guides. Whenever I feel stale in my artistic life I “think sideways” thanks to Freeman.

Creativity and Faith

• Creativity is at one moment using the rules and at the same moment breaking free from the rules.
• Creativity is setting out with purpose and design, but waiting for “happy accidents” that bring your idea to new heights.
• Creativity is forging forward with mature determination to accomplish your project yet participating in the process with childlike wonder

Creativity and faith are both part of the same paradoxical universe. Artists that have a well-founded Christian belief system have a distinct advantage — they understand paradox. The foundation of Christian belief is that submitting to God’s will generates a wonderful freedom. 2 Cor. 3:16,17 But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Submission and freedom — a paradox. But once you know and accept this illogical “way of the Lord” you understand how accident and purpose work hand in hand; how discipline and freedom blend; how maturity and innocent wonder coexist; how this is really the natural way of things in God’s eyes.

I find great joy in the creative process because I see my creator in the process. The process carries me beyond my humanity; beyond human logic. I feel God’s breath in me. I see the processes of creativity connecting me with my God and creating a peace in my heart.

I look back at some of the work I did when my skills and discipline were just forming and I see some really shining moments of creativity. I simply didn't “know better” so I broke rules. I constantly work on regaining an innocent perspective (as in a childlike faith) in order to keep producing shining moments. I'm always questioning what I've done and how I've done it. In keeping with the bipolar nature of the process, shining moments are good — it means I've produced a quality/communicating piece, but the flip side is that success often generates formulas; certain ways of doing things that are deadly to further discovery and exploration. You find yourself mindlessly applying a formula to a subject that doesn't deserve such treatment. But God helps me out in that regard. He made an incredibly diverse world. The variety encourages me to break the rules and to look for new themes in my work.

The Art of Responsibility and Sharing
Part of the discipline of creating is the keeping the audience in mind. In yet another polarized process the artist searches his/her own heart and listens to the artwork itself to help generate the energy that will become a work of art— and at the same time it is tuned in to the song of the community. Pulling you West are avenues that will express your ideas and at the same time, the road goes East toward the community where you live. I feel a tremendous responsibility to communicate effectively/passionately yet respect the sensibilities of the community. Granted, there is a grey area where the two concepts meet. Sometimes your passion demands a message that can offend some of the community. It comes down to whether you feel that your faith demands that there is need for “pushing” the community so that they have to wake up to an important truth. Yet, shocking the audience just for the sake of shocking them (all too prevalent in today’s culture) is not what I call responsible art.

The Final Contradiction
It’s helpful to analyze how the creative process seems to work itself out in your life. In doing so I've found that giving myself "assignments" has helped me grow as an artist. I may require myself to photograph with a lens that I don't often use, or ignore my favorite subjects, or shoot at a slower shutter speed than seems called for. Assignments help bring me "outside the box." But I can't take myself too seriously. There is always an element of mystery in the recipe. Nothing is static. I may find tomorrow that my assignments are causing me to overlook new ideas. Creativity is above all a dynamic enterprise — no matter how you try to hold on, it slips through your fingers.